From Darkness to Light…

It’s been a long few weeks….  I knew when I started this journey there would be
some major changes and possible difficulties.  What I didn’t know was that there
would be times when all that I have learned and grown to accept and opened up
within me could bring me to places that I would not understand.  Lessons….  I
know all about lessons.  But this was even deeper than I could have
imagined.
 

There was a quote that I saw recently and it hit home so deeply.  “It’s hard to wait
around for something that you know might not happen, but it’s even harder to
give up when it’s everything you’ve ever wanted”.  This encompasses all that I
have strived to figure out in my life… all that I have yearned to know and
be.. all that I have felt and inturn experienced.  Even moreso, it included
something very personal, very near and dear to my heart and soul.  This quote,
in one sentence, sums up my life for the past 3 years and probably for my entire
life.
A few weeks ago I stopped feeling things.  I am empath so this was a bit unnerving
to me.  I felt like I was walking blind.  I started to wonder why this was
happening… why I couldn’t feel my world around me… why I couldnt hear the
angels, or see their energy.  This had happened once before and It had been done
to restructure my energies so I could do more and progress further.  When it all
came back it was great!  But this time was different.
 

I was told I was ready for more… that I might feel energy differently.. and I
was ok with that.  I had asked the angels to help with all that was coming
through.  I was learning how to control the flow and not let it take over.  It’s
a delicate balance.  I had asked for help in this regard.  Then everything was
gone.

I knew it was ok, as weird as I felt not feeling the world around me, it was still
ok.  I was ready for more.  It started to come back… and yes it felt
different.  But the swirling that I normally felt when I was connecting to
diving energies… I didn’t feel that so much.  Not long after, I was challenged
with something very personal in my life and this created a tailspin.  All
feeling was gone.  But not all emotion.  It wasn’t until yesterday that I could
speak without crying. Even then…     I was letting go of all I held dear to
me.  I couldn’t feel, hear, or see anything.  I was lost inside.
Though the weather was supposed to be all rain… today there was sunshine.  I forced
myself to leave my house… I went to where I have always been able to find
myself when Im lost.  In the trees… sun..  the quiet peacefulness of nature.
I sat in my car for 20 min. fighting not to get out.  Finally opened the
door…  I breathed deep… and walked into the woods.  I felt numb and at first
had a hard time seeing the leaves and sun shining through them… but I felt the
breeze and the more I walked and took in each breath, the more clear my mind
became… my foggy thoughts started to fade and I asked “Why?”.  I did not
understand what had been happening.  I knew it was a combination of my heartache
and feeling lost without being connected, but did not understand the reason.
Slowly as I walked I started to hear again….  the soft comforting reassuring voice of
divine wisdom.  I was told that I was holding onto a burden that was not mine.
I had asked to feel the emotion (a while back) of someone dear to me so I could
understand their despair.  I was given this request only I didn’t know.  What I
had been feeling for the past week was their inner most turmoil.  I thought it
was mine.  But I didn’t understand.  It hadn’t occurred to me it wasn’t my own,
which surprised me, as I’d gotten pretty good at clearing and knowing which
emotions were mine and which belonged to someone else.  Go here for more info on
being an Empath..
http://www.facebook.com/sallysignsxo?ref=profile#!/topic.php?uid=125327734200596&topic=22
(You may have to click “Like” on the page.. not sure.  Then it’s under
discussions on the left.
Today I learned a very strong lesson on being careful what you wish for.  I was told
that this burden that I had taken on was not mine to take.  I was allowed to
feel it but then it encompassed me so completely I was unable to let go.  I
couldn’t feel anything but what was within me and that alone was so overwhelming
I withdrew from everyone and everything.  I’ve hurt some closest to me by my
silence.. but that was never my intention.  I just wasn’t able to talk about
this.  It’s hard to explain how something like this can swallow you
up.
 

Clearing oneself is extremely important with what I do… I wasn’t able to do this.  I
didn’t have the strength… but somehow, in all I felt thinking my angels
couldn’t hear me… (but knowing deep down they could), I found the strength to
ask AA Michael to help me.  Then to use the violet flame to clear me again.  And
then got out of the house and into the woods. On the trails.  It was here I
found my inner voice again…   I found my angels.   The burden I was carrying
needed to be let go completely.  The person I was carrying it for needed to take
this on in it’s entirety in order to learn and move forward.  I was holding him
back by taking on what was his to endure.  But I now understand.  I was also
told that when I took this on, the angels had to lesson my empathy in order for
me to survive it.  If I felt all I normally do in addition to what I was holding
onto… I would have crumbled.  Again…. I understand now.   I had to release
all I held… and give it back from where it came.  And I walked out of those
trails breathing new life today.
I believe I was only meant to feel that despair for a moment… but I wasn’t
listening, and didn’t realize what had happened… and took it on as my own.  In
this moment and for 7 days forward I lost my way….  Today after many tears and
heartfelt tugs… I let go.  I set this free.  I could not have done this
without my angels.  I may not always understand what flows through me… but I
thank God it does.
To my friends and family… I hope you can understand.  I love
you.
My daughter and her bf Pat got me focused on something important to move my life
forward.. and in doing so I believe gave me strength.  Their energy is stronger
than even they realize.  I am forever grateful…
I wish you all peace and so much love….
Sally  

*****UPDATE*****
Within 24 hrs of releasing this negative energy all doors opened in my life!!!
Thank you God, Thank you Angels, Thank you Universe!!! I’m so very grateful
:)

2 Responses to From Darkness to Light…
  1. Anika
    June 17, 2011 | 10:11 pm

    Dear Sally
    this is very interesting information.I am learning so much from you.Thank you for being so brave and sharing your deepest emotions and experiences.
    I feel I know what you are talking about.
    Many angel blessings to you:-)Love and Light

    • Sally Bowers
      June 18, 2011 | 3:36 pm

      Thank you Anika :) )) I love passing on what Im learning and this blog helps me do that.. plus in person too.. like with you and others. We are all in this together!! SO glad you are here :)

      Many BLessings,
      Sally

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